Fast Transition

Hello everyone!  Only 3rd post in and already I’m slacking on my updates.  The last few weeks have been a blur.  Finishing up my job with the RAC, clearing out my house, packing my belongings (a whole ‘nother post about that later), driving to Wisconsin, a brief visit, and now I sit in the airport at Milwaukee, waiting for my flight to Reno.  It’s 4:49 am.  

I just want to give a quick FYI to everyone.  I’ll be at Burning Man for the next 10 days so other than one more post I hope to get out before I head to the Playa, I’m not slacking again on the updates, I just will be off grid.  And for those of you who know me and technology….I can’t wait!!  ::grin::

If you feel so inclined, you can send me snail mail while I’m at BM.  I’m at:

Dome Monkey/Kira Zebroski

Habitat For Insanity

7:30 and Haifa

℅ BRCPO

Burning Man

Gerlach, NV 89412

Now I’ll be there until September 1st so plan accordingly.  Outside of that time frame, any mail should be sent to my parents.  Email or facebook me to get the address.

Friendships and moving

As I’m getting ready to leave Rochester, it occurred to me suddenly.  How am I going to leave all these people?  I know that when moving, it means leaving things behind but I’ve been so focused on my destination, I've pushed this part of the process aside.  I think it has also been a protective action, denial of what needs to happen.  I've moved around so much, that leaving things, people, and places behind has just always been a part of life.  But this is different.  This time I’m leaving as an adult, with invested time and energy into relationships that I want to last forever.  And I’m terrified.  Terrified I’ll never see them again, that I’ll lose touch, that I’ll miss these important moments in their lives and they in mine.

I've been putting this feeling aside and I didn't even realize it.  In this final week of preparing to leave, I've felt this anxiety and intense overwhelming ENERGY.  And I thought the main reason for it was just the stress of trying to get everything done.  Tying up loose ends.  But as I start to see people for what may be the last time in the foreseeable future, I’m feeling this dam break.  I've built this protective wall around my emotions about leaving my people, my lifeblood, and it’s starting to crumble.  

It’s funny, my friends and I joked that I’m not allowed to really drink during my going away party because I’ll probably end up a blubbering mess.  And I’d laugh and we’d all heartily agree.  But the sobering fact is, I need to deal with this emotion, process and share with those I hold dear.  Tell them,

“I am seriously going to miss you.  You have made this huge impact in my life that even I may not fully comprehend.  There is a part of my heart that I’m leaving with you.  Please take good care of it and help stay in touch so I know it’s well cared for.  And I will try my damnedest to do the same for you.  Know that you are with me, always.  I love you."

And these thoughts aren't just for those I’m leaving in Rochester, but all those who've touched my life and made me better for it.  Whether you’re in Pittsburgh, Florida, NYC, Seattle, Ohio, or already oceans away, I will truly miss you and hope our paths will cross soon and often.

Beginnings

I keep telling people, I need to start a blog for my travels if only to assure people I am both alive and not in jail.  It’s a rather odd statement and yet kinda true.  I’m preparing for this journey, a once in a lifetime some tell me (I don’t necessarily agree but I’ll come back to that thought), and I want some way to communicate with those I’m leaving behind.  Its part for posterity's sake and part in hopes of inspiring some to join me in my travels and share my adventures.  Now I should probably talk about what in the world I’m doing.  What journey?

About a year ago, I reached a point in my life where I just wasn't happy with my life.  I didn't recognize myself.  I was angry, irritable, and finding it hard to find and appreciate the simple pleasures of life.  A change needed to be made.  I thought about what in life truly makes me happy and what I came up with was traveling and dance.  With dance, I've had several opportunities come up and I've grabbed them with a vengeance and have no regrets.  Traveling was another matter.  There are always excuses not to travel: no money, no time, how to get there, how to pay the bills while I’m gone and also when I get back.  The list goes on.  Now the ideal way to approach this would be to get a job that allows me to travel.  I looked into this briefly but in my heart what I truly wanted was to wander the globe with a single backpack and an open mind.  

And so I made the decision.  Come the end of August the following year, I would follow that dream.  Through many different plan changes, it has arrived at Thailand as my starting point.  First a brief stop at my parents and a wedding, a stint in the desert, San Francisco to come down from that stint, and Thailand.  I’m going to be teaching English, farming, building housing, and whatever else life throws at me.  As someone said to me, I’ll go where the wind blows me.  It may blow me eventually back to the US, but I have no intention of forcing it back in that direction.  

I now stand on the precipice of starting this journey and I’m both terrified and exhilarated.  Excited to see what life will show me and the world will offer me.  Terrified I’ll fail.  Nervous of the unknown but ready to embrace it all.  Trusting in the knowledge that no matter what happens from this point on, I will have succeeded in following this dream.  I am ‘A Monkey with a Backpack.”